Outsider Reflection
Develop and engage in the collaborative and social aspects of writing processes.
During class, Professor Geoghan spoke about the importance of “showing and not telling” throughout a piece of writing because it is a more effective form of rhetoric. After writing the first draft of my narrative essay, I realized that I did not include enough examples in my writing to convey my feelings and experiences. In my first draft, I simply stated, “My family is my support system and is the main, if only, constant in my life… The five of us support each other through anything and everything.” While this statement is a true one, using an example can more effectively demonstrate my family’s support. In my final draft I wrote, “When we all eat dinner at home together on Friday nights, we talk about our lives and reconnect to each other; the conversations we share enable me to take on the rest of my week. The five of us support each other through anything and everything.” This example paints a better picture for the reader as to how my family helps me deal with my issues. I understood that I needed to improve that part of my narrative because of the guidance that my teacher offered me in her engaging and collaborative class.
Negotiate writing goals and audience expectations regarding convections of genre, medium, and rhetorical situation.
In my peer review, I received feedback regarding my last sentence, “But until that day, I will learn to practice Judaism quietly so I belong.” My peer wrote that this sentence is a bit awkward and unclear. After rereading my draft, I realized my peer found the conclusion confusing because it did not completely capture my feelings. I changed it to “… I have been learning to practice Judaism quietly so that I belong.” In addition, I found that ending my essay with the first sentence made it sound vague and incomplete. To fix this, I tried to include specifically how practicing Judaism quietly made me feel, as well as my hope to bring the two parts of my life together. In efforts to correct my conclusion, I negotiated my writing goals so that I would convey my ideas more clearly and effectively.
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